Profundity. Patient. Insightful. Quiet. Observant. Traits of a man who fishes and rarely catches a fish and yet tries again in the face of failure. Perseverance. Someone who wants to catch a Christmas fish on Christmas Day during a light snow. No fish, but hot chocolate waiting for when the fish don’t show up. Someone who says, after listening to Buzz Aldrin as the keynote speaker, who arrived late to one of our childrens’ college graduation, because he said he lost his way and you can’t make this stuff up, “I would rather hear a common man who spoke extraordinarily, rather than an extraordinary man who sucks!”. This man who upon seeing a classic stone wall while meandering on a drive through a rural area says ” stone walls are the jewelry that decorate a house”. They are the words that I write down to remember, because they are the words of someone who sees things truly as they are. These are the words that blow me away and captured my heart when I wasn’t planning to find someone to do any more than have a cup of coffee with. I often say to him, “I wasn’t planning on you and yet here we are”.
My FHB and I are celebrating our wedding anniversary next week. Sometimes I forget the years because it all seems so seamless. I didn’t plan to find such a good friend over that first cup of coffee. After coffee, he suggested dinner, and subsequently I countered with telling him that I had a dog who was waiting for me to walk him. He asked if he could meet my dog. I acquiesced because my dog was a very good judge of character and I thought if he could pass the “Charley” test, he might be someone to have dinner with. He passed the test. Charley even allowed him to hold his leash and soon Charley allowed himself to love my FHB and it was mutual. There is something to be said for “love me, love my dog” and for someone who didn’t know dogs, I knew that was big and that it was going to get bigger.
We are not alike although we share a common world view on most issues. His words are metered while mine are endless at times. I know I am often the “Lucy” to his “Ricky”, and, sometimes I am the “Lucy” to his “Charlie Brown”. I can snipe and show my ire and lash in the way that Scorpios can do. He will take the high road and that is often enough for me to know I crossed a line. We are adults. I acknowledge my bad behavior and we go on. No grudges but kindness. At fifty and fifty four, respectively, we were pretty set, each in our own way. We didn’t need to get married. We had enough offspring between us to keep us on our toes and of course we had Charley. We laugh a lot. To make him smile and smirk is a daily goal. The eye rolls are his way of tempering my nuttiness. We live a fairly simple life that include family and friends, and quiet moments taken to just pay attention and hold on to one another. We know that time is too precious to get caught in the maelstrom of being right, when all we want is peace and contentment. It is to know that in the dark moments and in the light ones, we have someone to navigate with. We take turns holding the map. It works. I am very lucky.