This morning wrapped up a series of unfortunate but not serious or deadly events this week, making it feel as though it was about two weeks long, and that included a snowstorm that was underwhelming (thank you whomever) in addition to the moving forward of the clocks, which, according to some reading of news (real or alternative) discussed the possibility (probably not in my lifetime) of eliminating it and making our time to include just enough hours to make us get into more or less trouble, depending on where you stand in life. Sorry for the run on sentence, it was my way of exhaling.
This Friday morning, I gave myself an additional 6 minutes after the alarm went off (to the sound of the Beatles “Blackbird”) to get myself out of bed. According to the daily routine which I follow as the servant of a cat, I first go and replace her now tepid water and remove the bowl to clean out the food she clearly distained. Tepid water is still a surprise as it spills over your nightgown, when you jump at the sound of your now awake, thought he was fast asleep, FHB, who approached from behind to get some juice. The cat who sat nearby giving me the death look, as her food was not ready when she was, walked away, obviously pissed at my ineptitude. I remain quiet and breathe and put the food and water on her placemat (same ones we use at the dining room table) with the water on the left and the food on the right, just the way she likes it. She walked over, sniffed it, and walked away. Yes, this was just the beginning.
I went into the bathroom to get the shower running to begin my morning ablutions. This was the morning that I forgot to put the new shampoo in the shower, which necessitated leaving a nice hot shower and padding to the closet to retrieve the new bottle. Did I mention that we pride ourselves on never yet, having turned the heat on in the loft, this whole winter? I regretted that decision as I exited. I was all set to get to the task, when I realized, someone, and I am not mentioning names nor casting aspersions, did not replace the soap yesterday. Did you know that shampoo is as good a soap, as soap is? File that under “things, just in case”. The towel, because it hangs conveniently next to the tub, was soaking wet, since as I left and returned, I hadn’t thought that in seventeen seconds would get soaked and then not be considered useful to dry myself with. I soldiered on as now I wished that I hadn’t taken that six minutes extra when I clearly needed it now. I reached for the deodorant. Yesterday, I had determined that I had one more day left. I overestimated that. So, because I don’t like running out of things, I remembered I had bought a double package. I felt victorious. It’s great to be organized. It’s lousy when you don’t remember where you might have put that double pack. I try to use logic but at six a.m. I have misplaced that as well. Considering I have an office job and I don’t work on the docks, I probably could have gotten away without deodorant since shampoo is as good as soap. However, now I was annoyed with myself and damn it….I was going to find it. I looked where I imagined in my organized mind I should have put it. Well, I discovered that we have more bath soap than Walgreens and more body wash than CVS, but the deodorant was missing. I got on my knees and emptied the cabinet under my side of the vanity. I keep a lot of things there and discovered it is like a black hole with treasures of lost items. It is dark under there, but luckily, from a previous voyage to the underbelly of the sink, I found a flashlight to help me excavate in the darkness. Aha! There in the corner on the bottom, in the back, underneath two more bottles of body wash (maybe I am a bit obsessed about running out), was the doublepack of deodorant, faced down, almost hiding. I retreated back into the light with glee, but not before smacking my head on the drainpipe. It was too dark to see stars but it was a good smack. I gingerly stood up and assessed the damage. I had to carefully put everything back in a rather haphazard way (I now had about twelve minutes to finish getting ready to head out the door, which included make-up, hair drying, getting dressed, making coffee and lunch). It was Supermarket Sweepstakes and I tripped in aisle two.
Down to the car in record time, I get in and realize that I opened the trunk in my attempt to open the door. I got out of the car, pushed the trunk shut, got back in the car and realized I had put the car keys on top of the car, got out of the car, retrieved the keys, got back in the car…. I hate my life (not really, feeling like the adolescents I hear saying that). Off to work. Coffee is still on the kitchen counter with my lunch. Yeah…of course.
It’s after 1o pm daylight saving time. The rest of the day was a marathon I ran with my shoelaces tied together. It’s over, and I finished, that’s all that matters. As I often say, sometimes to other people, and most times to myself “Let’s not do that again, EVER!”
I really don’t hate my life…I love the weekends. Ahhh. Good night.