“On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog”
Next week, I celebrate my 66th birthday. Even to me that sounds like quite a big number. Although that is probably less than the number of eyelashes (my own) I have to count on both eyes, I’m guess-timating since I have never done that. I googled “How many eyelashes does the average woman have?” the answer is “The number of eyelashes on each lid range widely as the top eyelid usually accommodates approximately 150 to 200 individual hairs, while the bottom eyelid may have somewhere between 75 and 100 hairs”. 66 seems like a big number. Inside, I have adjusted my mental age to about 36 or 37. I used to think I was 34, so I know I am aging. I don’t think too much about what 66 represents because it is fact, based on my driver’s license, ability to get full Social Security benefits, and a boatload of memories, experiences, moments of regret, moments of total amazement, and a legacy of offspring and their offspring that I can hold and love and watch time move along. I can count my blessings and they outnumber my years and the stars in the sky. I’ve known love and I know love every day. No complaints, whatsoever. I am a lucky human.
The cartoon above was in my office for as long as I worked in my job as a school social worker and probably it travelled with me from a previous job. I just felt that it was ironic, amusing and represented the world, our world, and the mystery of the internet. The internet has allowed me, among others, to bring my thoughts to an audience of often like-minded people (or maybe dogs, or cats…as the saying goes). I always have written for myself first because I like releasing my thoughts into the air, like feathers found which escape my couch cushions, random and attached to nothing, allowed to free float until they land once again, perhaps near a reader or feather admirer.
This blog has been my creation for almost five years, although the first entry, sat alone, unanswered, somewhat stuck, until the following year when it was launched in earnest. I re-read the second “first entry” “It’s better to be the first elephant in the parade”. I still like it and remember it and it makes me smile. My content over the last five years evoked my memories of my family of origin, my current family constellation, injustice, questions that I ask of myself and the world at large, with ongoing recognition that I have more questions that answers but I believe I am not alone in that. I observed where I live and embraced home on many levels. I laugh at myself, and rail against others at times. I remember moments and renew my belief in our world, while questioning if the world will be better for future generations, especially my grandgirls. I am more introspective and smarter about my own energy and I have learned with the words I release that I have little control of much. Yet, that’s all right and a sign of making some sort of peace with myself.
I also am a believer in a beginning, a middle and an end. I like order since around us is chaos (the orderly kind). Therefore, I have realized that I have so much to do that I am ready to start. It is somewhat like Marie Kondo-ing my commitment to my creativity. I am letting go of this blog since I have loved it with all my heart but know it has served me well and it is time to send it off into the universe. I have books written in parts I must finish. I have paintings to paint, and stories to tell my grandgirls and sweet fleeting time to spend with those I love. I have recipes to try and breads and cookies to bake. I have places to visit and people to meet for the first time and once again. So much yet to do.
Shakespeare said it best, imho, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.”
I thank you, new readers and my longtime readers for your support, comments and encouragement. I may stop in once in a while if something is pressing my heart or head and I need to let you know about it. Wish me well and I shall do the same for you. Till we meet again.